Latest Episode
Play
Keith and The Girl - free comedy talk show
Keith Malley and Chemda Keith and The Girl Free Comedy Talk Show Click here to get our premium content

Show Notes and Pictures

KATG 3998: Boys’ Weekend: RETURN OF THE CARNIVAL OF SINS (Theatre of Pain)

Keith, Buddy, Big Dick, and Killer finish their recording session discussing Virtual Reality “games” (you know the kind), the truly greatest BBQ spot in Charlotte, The Diamond Dogs’ tattoos, and the epic concert of Extreme, Tesla, and I guess Mötley Crüe. August 22, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Virtual Reality “games” (you know the kind)
  • — BBQ Lunch: Charlotte’s Nobel Smoke
  • — The Diamond Dogs’ tattoos
  • — Extreme, Tesla, and Mötley Crüe(?)

Pictures

Killer Kyle - and no, we won't tell you what "game" he was "playing"
Killer Kyle - and no, we won't tell you what "game" he was "playing"


Karen and Rod Morrow with The Boys
Karen and Rod Morrow with The Boys

Buddy Rick and KATG Tattoo #152
Buddy Rick and KATG Tattoo #152
Buddy Rick and Killer Kyle's KATG Tattoo #153
Buddy Rick and Killer Kyle's KATG Tattoo #153
The puzzle pieces
The puzzle pieces
Diamond Dogs
Diamond Dogs
Extreme's Francis
Extreme's Francis
Extreme's Ozzy tribute
Extreme's Ozzy tribute
This piece of dog shit ...
This piece of dog shit ...
Girls, Girls, Girls sponsored by Mattress Warehouse
Girls, Girls, Girls sponsored by Mattress Warehouse
Heavy Metal in 2026
Heavy Metal in 2026
Nikki Sixx being a weirdo with an 11-year-old girl
Nikki Sixx being a weirdo with an 11-year-old girl
Nature finds The Scarlet Bitch
Nature finds The Scarlet Bitch

KATG 3997: Boys’ Weekend: THE STRIP CLUB (Girls, Girls, Girls)

“A podcaster, a Canadian, a football coach, and a Texan walk into a bar.” The trio continues recapping their awesome weekend of friendship and whores as we learn everything you ever wanted to know about a strip club but were afraid to ask. August 21, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — The Diamond Dogs’ dads
  • — Charlotte’s The Men’s Club feat. Killer Kyle’s ex-lover & stripper and the tricks of the trade
  • — Charlotte’s Tilt on Trade

Pictures

Blaine's "Washateria" (but obviously A.I.)
Blaine's "Washateria" (but obviously A.I.)




The manager unsexily grabbing all the dollar bills
The manager unsexily grabbing all the dollar bills

Keith's into it
Keith's into it
Keith's rusted strip club memento ($3.50 retail)
Keith's rusted strip club memento ($3.50 retail)
Charlotte's Tilt on Trade
Charlotte's Tilt on Trade

KATG 3996: Boys’ Weekend: CAROWINDS I mean THE GUN RANGE (New Tattoo)

All 4 of the dogs are together! Thanks to Keith’s excellent planning, he’s joined by the whole gang featuring Big Dick Blaine, Buddy Rick, and Killer Kyle. BBQ? CHECK! Guns? CHECK! Titties? CHECK! Theme Park? Pardon? August 20, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Six Flags’ Carowinds
  • — BBQ Breakfast feat. Liz
  • — The Gun Range
  • — BBQ Lunch feat. Kyle’s dad
  • — Six-Foot Ropes
  • — New Tattoos
  • — Pool frolicking

Pictures

Hayden Panettiere, RIP
Hayden Panettiere, RIP
When we make plans, God laughs
When we make plans, God laughs

BBQ breakfast
BBQ breakfast
Keith's sexy state magnets
Keith's sexy state magnets




Keith and Buddy Rick at the range
Keith and Buddy Rick at the range
Keith's broken gun
Keith's broken gun
Keith's damage
Keith's damage
Big Dick Blaine and his even bigger gun
Big Dick Blaine and his even bigger gun

Hitman
Hitman
Killer Kyle
Killer Kyle
Blaine
Blaine
Rick
Rick

The Dogs
The Dogs
A celebratory smoke
A celebratory smoke
Kyle with his dad
Kyle with his dad
BBQ lunch
BBQ lunch
Tattoo shop #1's cookies
Tattoo shop #1's cookies
Tattoo shop #2's pork sandwhiches
Tattoo shop #2's pork sandwhiches
Keith getting ready for the strip club
Keith getting ready for the strip club

KATG 3995: Boys’ Weekend: THE POOL w/ Blaine

It’s only been 24 hours into Boys’ Weekend, and Keith and Big Dick Blaine already have plenty of ridiculousness to yap about. Before Buddy Rick and Killer Kyle arrive, the duo not only teach you the sincere foolproof way to be a millionaire, but they also discuss the amazing movies Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (96%) and Busboys (literally no rating), Keith’s and their mothers’ cooking, the disingenuous tricks at Keith’s pool, and looking up Charlotte strip I mean gentlemen’s clubs. August 15, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — The sincere foolproof plan to be a millionaire
  • — Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie the movie
  • — Busboys the movie
  • — Keith’s and Blaine’s mothers’ cooking
  • — The disingenuous tricks at Keith’s pool
  • — Looking up Charlotte strip clubs

Guests

BlaineBlaine

Pictures

Tabletop foosball (10-9)
Tabletop foosball (10-9)
You Don't Know Jack (Just sayin')
You Don't Know Jack (Just sayin')
Keith's new algorithm
Keith's new algorithm



Keith's culinaries
Keith's culinaries


Charlotte's mother
Charlotte's mother

KATG 3994: Prayers for the Melancholy w/ Shahrum & Heather, Robert Alvarez, Brother Love, Katharine Heller, and Newsy

New Madden! New VR mini golf course! And the games never stop!!! On this final Robert Alvarez re-listen, we also check in with co-guests Rockstar Brother Love, “HellKat” Katharine Heller, and Bad Boy Newsy thanks to listener-producers Shahrum & Heather, who cast this very episode. Before the party begins, Keith shares his thoughts on Father Malley using ChatGPT, Trump’s Sunshine Protection Act, a Shake Shack employee robbing his own Shake Shack before returning to work, and the upcoming boys’ weekend featuring guns, breasts, roller coasters, and Mötley Crüe I mean Tesla and Extreme. On with the show. August 15, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Keith’s new “Ouija” board
  • — Father Malley, phone sex worker
  • — Madden NFL 27 and gaslighting through ChatGPT feat. Father Malley
  • — Keith prepares for Boys’ Night
  • — The different ways listeners check on Keith’s mental health
  • — Rapist President Trump hears you and will pass The Sunshine Protection Act
  • — Shake Shack employee calls in sick, robs his Shake Shake the same day at gunpoint, returns to work two days later
  • — The REAL 2026-27 Pittsburgh Steelers are 1 for 1(!!!)
  • — Robert Alvarez’s 39 psychic guides
  • — Discovering Wordle and people-pleasing A.I.
  • — Heather learns in real time that Robert Alvarez gave Shahram a previous reading regarding if he should ask for Heather’s hand in marriage
  • — The future of KATG and Chemda
  • — Brother Love adulting feat. Safe-T-Man and The Original Bagel Guillotine
  • — Keith finally (and eagerly) responds to a jury duty summons
  • — The movie Nyad and questioning if the world’s greatest athletes have all been abused
  • — Robert Alvarez on Craig Klein, Katharine Heller’s future Australian forever partner, the upcoming 2024 presidential election, if Newsy should go into construction, the title of the TV show The Bear, and if Heather should pursue her art offerings vs. her corporate day job

Pictures

ShopRAWRS.com
ShopRAWRS.com
The KATG Cruise Day #1: Karaoke
The KATG Cruise Day #1: Karaoke
feat. Rise of the Melancholy Empire
feat. Rise of the Melancholy Empire
I KNEW IT!
I KNEW IT!
Simply splendid!
Simply splendid!
Not too shabby ...
Not too shabby ...



On Day #1?! [shrug.jpg]
On Day #1?! [shrug.jpg]
The Party Fridge
The Party Fridge



Keith's new "Ouija" board
Keith's new "Ouija" board
Keondre Simmons, 33, (ex-)Shake Shack employee
Keondre Simmons, 33, (ex-)Shake Shack employee
The Kobe 6 All-Star 3D Hollywood
The Kobe 6 All-Star 3D Hollywood
Game #1 (too easy)
Game #1 (too easy)




KATG 3993: The Psychic and the Poltergeist w/ Robert Alvarez

12 years later, The Psychic Witch Robert Alvarez returns, this time over video during COVID; but still, nothing can slow him down (even the poltergeist he apparently lives with). Keith and Chemda catch up on Robert’s life, learn the future of their own lives, and get even more personal with The Great One. August 12, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Remembering Keith’s dad sabotaging Keith’s Super Bowl Domino’s commercial
  • — Remembering the split between Keith and Jeremy
  • — Listener Laura follows up on healing after a surprise breakup
  • — Robert Alvarez’s love and his all new psychic guide Anthony
  • — When Robert’s spirit guides communicate with clients’ spirit guides
  • — When Keith and Robert dismissed Catholicism
  • — The day Robert heard everybody’s thoughts/schizophrenia
  • — The Psychic Witch’s poltergeist puts away groceries
  • — The accuracy of The Conjuring
  • — The rising popularity of tarot cards
  • — When Keith had sex with a witch
  • — The future of COVID-19 in 2021
  • — The future of Israel and Palestine
  • — Britney Spears’ autonomy
  • — The future of Keith and Kyle Ocasio
  • — Chemda’s future health, her third eye, and her future with Xerxes
  • — Robert’s sex
  • — Keith’s stand-up: Daddy’s Home (Keith’s Discipline)

Pictures

100% scientifically accurate
100% scientifically accurate
A listener's Tower tarot card
A listener's Tower tarot card

Chemda judging Keith and Kyle
Chemda judging Keith and Kyle

KATG 3992: House of the Dragons w/ Robert Alvarez and Jeremy

It’s literally a house of dragons, silver and otherwise. Along with Robert Alvarez, Keith and Chemda are joined by their friend and cancer and lightning survivor Jeremy to cover the news of the day and the news of the future. Before that, Keith discusses his latest post-romance feelings, calling a 900 sex line, and using The Strangers: Chapters 2 and 3 to heal. Also, it’s officially the beginning of the new NFL season, and Keith made his football bets; which, to be clear, his psychic guide is very positive about. August 11, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Hiring a cleaner
  • — Why has Keith been ignoring his psychic guide?
  • — Healing through The Strangers: Chapters 2 and 3
  • — Drake barking like a dog and Keith calling 1-900-SEX
  • — Apple TV’s Cape Fear and The Dink
  • — Keith’s 2026-2027 NFL bets
  • — Listeners’ thoughts on Robert Alvarez
  • — Keith vs. The Country/Keith vs. airbrushing on models/Ricky Martin blows our mind coming out as gay
  • — Robert Alvarez vs. derogatory ex-clients/How to manifest a spell
  • — Love, sex, gambling, and money: Cancer and lightning survivor Jeremy gets read by Robert
  • — Robert’s adolescence
  • — Call-in tarot-reading lightning round
  • — Robert on Zener cards
  • — Keith’s stand-up: Health Care, Penis Rash, and Ben Lerman’s Rash on My Penis

Pictures

The Scarlet Bitch
The Scarlet Bitch
Keith trying to heal
Keith trying to heal
Apple TV's Cape Fear
Apple TV's Cape Fear




Jeremy's KATG Sex Links List
Jeremy's KATG Sex Links List
The fortune cookies
The fortune cookies
KATG.com/tattoos: ElvisRico - Can You Imagine?
KATG.com/tattoos: ElvisRico - Can You Imagine?

KATG 3991: Keith Malley, Silver Dragon w/ Robert Alvarez

The greatest psychic ever is back! And Robert Alvarez is here too! (WINK) Keith, Chemda, and Robert join forces to figure out the future of Mike, one of their greatest interns. They also take calls, do speed-readings, and deal with April pendejos. August 6, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Keith wants Jerlyn back
  • — Dealing with April fools
  • — Osbournes Reloaded
  • — Claircognizance
  • — The birth of Street View
  • — Should MTA employees have tried harder to stop a rape?
  • — Robert’s polyamorousness
  • — The Silver Dragon Keith Malley predicts the ending of Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love
  • — Jen calls in to see if her grandfather died upset with her
  • — What happens when we die and what does David sound like?
  • — Robert tells Jen that she needs to forgive someone to be able to conceive a child
  • — Today’s tarot card desks
  • — Scott calls regarding physically leaving his brother behind
  • — Zara on feeling alone after a big move
  • — Robert reads Mike the Intern
  • — Psychic competitions
  • — Robert vs. Rachael Ray
  • — KATG speed readings
  • — Robert’s sexual checklist
  • — Keith’s stand-up: New-School Sex

Pictures

Mike the Intern
Mike the Intern
KATG.com/tattoos
KATG.com/tattoos

Randall James Hamilton Zwinge, RIP
Randall James Hamilton Zwinge, RIP
Ozzy, RIP (even then)
Ozzy, RIP (even then)

KATG 3990: The KATG 76-Hour Marathon: The Witching Hour w/ Robert Alvarez and “friends”

Today we play a section from Keith and Chemda’s record-breaking 76-hour marathon featuring Witch Robert Alvarez (that’s okay to say) psychically reading in-studio guests as well as callers over the phone. From love, money, and travels to something else I’m sure, it all gets covered. Also, there’s animosity in the room, but Robert can’t be deterred from rising above it all. August 4, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — Listeners suggest Liz left Keith to be with his father’s lost gold
  • — KATG.com/tattoos
  • — Robert Alvarez’s 3 lovers (and a spell to not be seen)
  • — Criminal defense lawyer Josh the Jew on his wife not being kosher and his aggression toward Robert
  • — Listener readings
  • — Predicting the ending to Lost/Intern Emmy aka Sexy PotatoE (RIP) talks with Robert about her future
  • — Keith, Robert, and Psychic Guide David discuss the practical implementation of Keith’s Justice
  • — The one time Robert was (only kinda) wrong
  • — 27-year-old virgin Scott Perez Fox’s romantic and sexual future
  • — Keith vs. Chemda aka Bruno vs. Emmy
  • — F-MOS asks if he’s with the right woman/Robert feels 100% no negative energy regarding KATG’s Patrice
  • — Robert is asked if KATG’s marathon will make it on digg.com’s homepage (Spoiler: Robert says yes but to give it a month. KATG was #1 that very day)
  • — Centering Oneself: Robert deals with EatsPaste, other bullshit, and forums negativity
  • — Josh the Jew returns more humbly to ask about his new home, leading to Robert calling Josh “a prick”
  • — Emmy returns with follow-up questions because Robert broke her brain
  • — F-MOS x fuse
  • — EatsPaste caught cheating in this year’s stand-up contest

Pictures
Josh the Jew
Josh the Jew
F-MOS
F-MOS

KATG 3989: Keith’s Psychic Guide w/ Robert Alvarez

It’s now 2008, and during the time when Keith and Chemda were dating, psychic witch Robert Alvarez made his second appearance. The hosts cover the previous predictions Robert has made, and they grade him accordingly. Mr. Alvarez also blesses us with more fast-paced call-in readings and, with the work of spirit guide David, helps Keith and Chemda find Keith’s opener for his upcoming stand-up show Sue Everybody. Oh, and Robert lets Chemda know if she’ll be having sex with a woman. August 2, 2026
Download audio iTunes Subscribe Comments

Listen to the show

Loading audio player... (requires a modern browser to work)

Show Notes

  • — FBI Director Kash Patel’s $10 million lawsuit against blogger Jim Stewartson who called Patel a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch,” and a, “blatantly incompetent chud,” is thrown out
  • — The Dept. of Justice has dropped its Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool vandalism case because duh
  • — The Soprano’s Vincent Pastore (80) passed away
  • — Listener emails regarding blindsided breakups
  • — Robert Alvarez explains his psychic guide David
  • — The factual accuracy of The Ghost Whisperer
  • — Amy Winehouse’s upcoming overdose
  • — Checking Robert’s past predictions
  • — Listener call-in readings
  • — 2008’s stand-up submissions
  • — Chemda’s predicted lesbian experiences
  • — Keith’s stand-up: Sue Doctors and Sue Everybody/Nerds

Pictures

Goddess's blessing to us all, Robert Alvarez
Goddess's blessing to us all, Robert Alvarez
Chemda & Keith
Chemda & Keith
Googly-eyed Kremlin bitch and blatantly incompetent chud FBI director Kash Patel
Googly-eyed Kremlin bitch and blatantly incompetent chud FBI director Kash Patel
Totally sober Judge Jeanine Pirro
Totally sober Judge Jeanine Pirro

100% factually accurate
100% factually accurate
Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse
2008's KATG Stand-Up Winner Allison Pound
2008's KATG Stand-Up Winner Allison Pound
Brenda
Brenda
Clockwork Bob
Clockwork Bob

loading something